I mean, there are no rules. Sometimes I wish there were rules.
Just when I thought who my friends were, and what to expect from them, things change.
About two years ago, one of my best friends Anna decided she didn't want any contact with me. At all, ever. She told me that being my friend was exhausting, that she never liked me, that all she ever told me was a lie. That our contact depressed her deeply.
This news came out of nowhere to me. I was so down. But I didn't get angry with her. That is not what I do. I sucked it all in. A few months ago I wrote her a letter. To tell her I was still thinking about her. She wrote me back! I was very surprised. She told me her reasons, and that it had been the right decision for her. But that it wasn't her intention to hurt me. She also told me she was gonna travel to Nepal and stay there for a few months.
She just got back, and she mailed me again. She wants to meet.
Really weird. But great, I'm really looking forward! Sha also contacted my former best friend, he'd like to meet with us too, I'm really curious. :)
But now my best friend, Sanne, wanted to meet with me a week ago. She wrote me a letter. She wanted to read it out loud. She told me how our friendship was too heavy, too intense sometimes. That it was too hard to handle sometimes. That she wanted to stop having contact for at least 3 months. Again I was stunned. I SO didn't see this coming!! I wish I did! I wish I could have done something about it!
I feel so fucked up now, so confused. I wrote her a letter, but I didn't post it yet.
God, this is typical. My first post is a sad one.
I did some really good things too, this weekend! I went to see a play, and it was really cool! Afterwards we went to have a drink w/ a few people, and it was so much fun!! Around 2 pm my coach came in, kinda drunk. Really funny.
We've been dancing with her on stage, getting even more drunk. Good times :)
And yesterday we went to Tori Amos-concert! She fucking amazing!! And very hot!
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